How to turn luck to your face. Luck, luck and white stripes, or how to turn fate to yourself Relationships - for growth

Sometimes the desire to completely change your life comes without understanding how exactly to do it. If you find yourself in this situation, look into your soul. Only in this way will you be able to draw up a plan for transforming yourself.

Understand inside yourself

Think about what specific nuances of your own life you would like to change. If it seems to you that everything around you is bad, maybe it’s enough for you to change your own disposition and adjust your attitude to what is happening around you.

If you don't like your job, you don't have to find the newest profession. Maybe you should find a position with a little different functionality, then you can fulfill yourself in work.

Take care of your health

From time to time, a prerequisite for endless discontent is insufficient health and general ill health. You probably noticed that your mood depends even on how well you slept.

Take care of your own health. Adjust your daily menu to include healthier foods. Give up depressants - alcohol and nicotine. Don't forget the need physical activity and get some sleep.

Organize your space

A cluttered home can prevent you from reaching your own potential. Get rid of junk and unnecessary garbage. Conduct an audit in all closets, on the balcony and in the locker room. Some things should be thrown away, something should be given away. Believe me, your life will certainly change, as you free up space from rubbish for the new in your own apartment and in your head.

Carry out categorical configurations

If you've made small changes and have greatly improved your life by staying the same, but not being satisfied, maybe you should make larger changes.

Moving to another city, changing your home position, starting your own business, mastering the newest profession - these are big changes that will give a boost to your internal resources.

Set new goals

Decide on a set of new global goals and break them down carefully into smaller tasks. Without an accurate guide, it will be difficult for you to turn your life on the desired track. Do not forget about your own goals. Think about them often and do everything to get closer to achieving them.

Don't be afraid of change

The right attitude will help you fulfill your wishes. Sometimes it can be difficult to get out of your comfort zone, even if it doesn't feel right to you. Remember that you are stronger than events and everything that keeps you from changing is just excuses sitting in your head.

Change the environment

The people around you influence your life. Even if you do not observe a direct relationship between your surroundings and the events taking place in your life, believe that the choice of friends and acquaintances must be treated very reverently.

Only connect with people you have something to learn from. Losers, whiners, brutal personalities will become unnecessary ballast in your life, pulling you down.

Many people believe that to become HAPPY, it is enough to meet YOUR HALF. But that's not the case at all.

Firstly, because there are many families who truly fell in love with each other already in the process of family life, and at first they did not experience anything special.

And secondly, I know the same number of real “halves”, the union of which did not stand the test of difficulties, and they dispersed.

Among the first there are those who even got married by calculation - and fell in love forever. Among the latter, many regret that they broke up.

I talk a lot with happy families. I like to find common and different between them, and it's just nice to communicate with those who live in harmony with themselves and their loved ones. Who is happy with the way he lives. And you know what?

• Such families, of course, have a lot in common: a friendly attitude, a lot of smiles to each other, there are many more calm “sunny” days than “cloudy”, mutual friends, good relations with children, a certain reconciliation with each other’s characters, the absence of closed topics ...
• also, they have a lot of different things: some spouses are all together, like lovebirds, others have different hobbies and even different faiths. Creative silence reigns in some houses, creative uproar in others. There are those who cannot sit still, and those who cannot be pulled out of the house. Playful and serious, never raising their voices and living among gypsy passions, with one child and ten ...

But all of them somewhere at a deep level one thing unites them: they all put their LOVE in any troubles ABOVE everything else.

No matter what happens, no matter how offended, angry, disagree with each other in some moment– they don’t forget for a second about the endless luck of their meeting, oh values And importance conservation"we are together".

This is not about “a bad peace is better than a good quarrel”. This is about careful handling of the feelings of a loved one, about accepting some imperfections (for example, the costs of female emotionality and male stubbornness), about the desire both solve problems. And rather forgive, do not keep your grievances in your bosom.

From the outside it seems that it is easier for “happy” people to appreciate love - they know exactly, what is this real love

Do not doubt. That "such love and I would appreciate or appreciate."

But in fact it's the other way around.

AT FIRST you begin to appreciate your "we are together", to appreciate what is right now, with all the imperfections cutting the eye.

And only then, gradually, your new attitude, your belief that your family has potential, there is hope to "steer" out of the "corkscrew" and start to rise up, will create a miracle of transformation.

Even if only one spouse has embarked on this Path so far, love in their couple will begin to grow, and the significance of everything that “must be in my opinion” will fall.

In the life of happy couples, there is always a certain REFERENCE POINT -
turning point,from which the ship of the family heads for HAPPINESS.

And this point is a MOMENT OF Awareness thatthat “WE ARE TOGETHER” is more important than any troubles.

With someone it "happens" at the moment of meeting or in front of the altar. And then it seems to them that there has never been any “point”, that they have always been happy together, from the very beginning.

For some, everything changes at the moment of an internal crisis, a crisis in relations. For example:

... She stands on the threshold with a suitcase in her hand, disappointed in her husband and having lost hope of building the family of her dreams with this man. Saying goodbye to this page of life forever, she suddenly begins to remember the best that happened between them. Those of his qualities and actions that once admired her so much ... And suddenly she realizes that they touch her even now. What exactly is important. That there are many people in the world who have the dignity that she lacks in her husband - but there is no one who will have these priceless pearls of his soul for her ... And that the kinship of their souls is a thousand times more important than some of his social failures and everyday ineptness - after all, failures are temporary, everything that you don’t know how to do can be learned, but the soul is unchanged ...

... He is trapped, driven into a corner by circumstances: life is sucked, the children go one after another, but there is no apartment, no money, he was fired from work ... He has been trying to get out of this “pit” for so long that he no longer feels anything but obligation chains. At home, it’s like in a prison, and more and more thoughts about the freedom of a happy single life come to mind ... But one day his wife sits down next to her and quietly says: “You don’t need to be with us just out of a sense of duty. If you feel bad with us, if love is gone, I will not hold you. We'll manage. But if you love us, be with us from a feeling of love, because you yourself want to stay. You have a choice. No need to force yourself to take care of us, neither we nor you from this is not good. But if you stay, take care of us, because you love us, because you yourself want to take care of us.

Such a rethinking happens to someone when the relationship is already destroyed - and then the seed of a new relationship from the very beginning will fall on fertile ground.

And the person will say: “I finally realized that maintaining good relations is more important than proving that I am right.”

Or: “I thought that if I have the right to some benefits, then I can demand them from social services. If I know what our family lacks, I can demand it from my husband. Because right is on my side. And today I know: I demanded not because “the truth is on my side” - but because I believed that requests were humiliating, and I could not overcome my pride.

The birth of a child, when the doctors said "infertile".

Death of a loved one.

A new love and a painful struggle with yourself.

New love and betrayal. Yes, yes, even betrayal, and even “accidental” or because “I wanted to live beautifully” (as in the film “Love and Pigeons”) - but in fact, because behind the routine of everyday life we forget how much we love each other.

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• I'm 30, I own a pub. I take the subway to work. Outwardly, such a huge bull. Once, at the exit of the car, I saw that one girl with a backpack could not squeeze herself out on her own. He decided to help her: he took the hood and went out with her. The next morning, I look, looking for me with my eyes in the car - so we traveled together for 2 months, I helped her get out.

  She let me listen to her music and generally behaved nicely and modestly, I even began to regret that she was only 15 years old. But one day it turned out that she did not go to school, as I thought, but to work in the Department of Social Policy and she is 25. It turned out that I took an official out of the metro for 2 months by the hood. And it would have been the most epic failure in 30 years if she had not agreed to go to a cafe with me.

• What I learned! When I was in the 4th grade, before the summer holidays, we gave flowers to teachers, and I had a huge expensive bouquet. I should have congratulated the teachers, but... They were cruel and unfair! And I gave it to the one who really deserved it - the cleaning lady. But we didn't see her the next year. And now, 9 years later, a friend told me that she was his neighbor and then she left the school with happiness and opened her own business. She says I gave her hope.

• “Suddenly fate? I'm not dressed up", I always told myself. Until she broke her leg in two places, falling in the bathroom. I went to the emergency room with an unshaven leg, half-worn nail polish, in my grandmother's jacket and without a hint of makeup. I met my fate there - a guy with a broken arm and half-shaved beard. Together for 5 years.

• One night I heard something fall in the hallway. It turned out to be a book. It fell off the shelf and opened to a page titled "How to Lose Weight." I thought.

• Once I went to a club with a friend, I was sitting at the bar, a guy came up to me and said: “Come to me, I will show you my raccoon.” No, of course, they glued me, but this was the first time. It became interesting, I went. We arrive, he opens the door, and a REAL raccoon runs out to meet him! In general, we have been living together for several months: me, the guy and the raccoon Garik.

• I was riding the bus for an exam and suddenly I hear inside myself: “Get off at this stop, go to a cafe, make a bridge.” I think what nonsense, I have an exam! The bus stops, something clicks inside me, and I get off. I go into a cafe, make a bridge and hear a man shouting something to me. I rushed, and the man behind me! He caught up and asks why the bridge was made in a cafe. And I say I don't know. He almost cried. A month ago, his family died in a car accident. He could not accept and decided to commit suicide. I dined and thought: “God, if you exist and I must continue to live, give me a sign.” And here I am.

• I really liked one guy at the university, I liked it so much that I constantly imagined how we meet with him and how then we live happily ever after. She imagined herself to the point that she confused reality with dreams - after the holidays, thinking about something of her own, she approached him and kissed him with the words: “I missed you so much!” By the slightly freaked out look of the guy, I realized that I was a fool. I apologized and ran away. He caught up with me, said that he did not understand what it was now, but he did not mind continuing.

• I am 35. At work I am a boss, in life I am a hermit. I don't have friends, but there is one constant habit: I go to the same pub, sit at the very back of the bar and just drink Guinness.

  On a typical pub night, someone unexpectedly covered my eyes with their hands and asked, "Guess who?" The girl behind realized that she was mistaken and, apologizing, went to the other end of the bar. She was so young, light, with eyes like two big black beads - not like everyone else. I couldn't think anymore, and the Guinness suddenly became somehow bitter.

  She had been waiting there all this time for someone, but apparently in vain. Like crazy, I began to think of how to talk to her, but nothing came to mind. The bar was closing, she was getting ready. I ran out and, in view of the terrible weather and her sad appearance, offered to give her a ride home.

  In the car, she chatted incessantly - there was so much life in her! I forgot to ask for her number, I came to my senses only at home. Came to the pub a week later, and there she was. Sitting in my place. I covered her eyes with my hands and asked, "Guess who?" She laughed and shouted, “I thought you would never come here!”

Who spins the wheel of fortune

Each of us has good moments in life when it seems that fate favors you, circumstances are in the best way, and success goes straight into your hands.

Everyone understands their luck differently: for some it is career growth, for some it is personal relationships, for others it is a favorite hobby or an opportunity to express themselves in creativity.

No matter how we see our luck, we feel it equally positively: we enjoy life. At the same time, it seems to us that everything that happens to us is the intervention of higher powers, the work of a guardian angel, a guiding star, or, at least, a lucky coincidence.

We believe that practically nothing depended on us in this situation. No, we, of course, took advantage of our chance to catch luck by the tail, made every effort to realize the opportunity that appeared, but there was still a share of luck in this matter.

Karma, horoscope, innate luck, talismans and sentences - how effective are they? How does luck even work? What is the universal mechanism of the process that we consider luck? Where do black and white stripes come from in our lives? Why are some lucky all the time, and others - almost never? What can you do to turn the wheel of fortune in your favor?

The essence of luck is actually not related to mysticism, heredity or fate, it has a purely psychological nature, a clear mechanism of action and obviously observable consequences.

The cause-and-effect relationships of such a phenomenon as luck are quite easily explained from the standpoint of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology.

How luck works

We get pleasure from our life only when we realize our own psychological properties at the highest level. When all needs are satisfied, the neurotransmitters of the central nervous system are in a balanced state, and we feel it as happiness, joy, fullness of life, meaningfulness.

When there is no realization or it is only partial, voids grow in the psyche, the vacuum of unfulfilled desires is painfully felt, plunging us into negativity - resentment, longing, anger, irritability, apathy, and the like.

The most interesting thing is the principle of doubling desire, which means that when the desire that has arisen is satisfied, a new desire arises in its place, more voluminous, more complex, of a higher level. This makes us look for new ways of realization, improve our qualifications, achieve more and more goals, go for promotion, develop in our profession.

Realizing ourselves at a new, higher level for us, we get more pleasure from achieving our goal. It's like "... better than mountains can only be mountains that have not yet been." By making efforts in the direction we have chosen, in our field of activity, we are moving forward, developing and developing our industry, contributing to the well-being of society, fulfilling our specific role.

So, when we do it with all our might, giving all our best at our favorite work, giving all of ourselves to sincere relationships, expressing ourselves in creativity, every minute of our life trying to do only what we do best, we ourselves create our luck.

It is this movement that is called fate, and we ourselves choose it for ourselves, we ourselves determine our life path, making our choice every day, falling under the influence of two forces - libido and mortido - the desire for either a dynamic or a static state.

In other words, each of us at every moment of time is between two fires and makes his choice between two directions - an active desire to live, create, create, give away and a passive desire to consume, take, exist statically.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that, remaining in a passive state of rest, trying to feel sorry for ourselves, protect, rest from life, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to enjoy filling the needs of the psyche, which means that shortages grow inside. The more we rest from ourselves, the worse we feel.

A happy person never gets tired of happiness and would not want to rest from it for a moment. The most famous composers do not get tired of writing music, the most outstanding writers cannot get tired of working on a new book, real brilliant scientists spend all their time doing research and scientific work.

Everything is simple! They go for gingerbread. Their real tangible pleasure from work is greater than the potential joy from doing nothing. Their luck is their choice. A person who fulfills his specific role at the highest level and goes to the complication is that part of humanity that moves in the right direction, realizes its individual mission, while simultaneously fulfilling the universal task of development.

The realization of one's own psychological properties at the limit of possibilities is a journey through life in step with modern society. This implies that it is not the circumstances that create you, but you create your own circumstances, it is about you that they say that you are just lucky, a darling of fate and a favorite of fortune. And you just live your life to the fullest, sparing no effort, no time, no possibilities of mind and body.

But sometimes mortido catches up with us, laziness wins over enthusiasm, we mistakenly give ourselves a break, lower the bar, take a break and ... deprive ourselves of full realization. We do not burn, but smolder, luck is running out, obstacles easily overcome at high speed turn into huge obstacles, we start whining and complaining about everyone in the world, looking for the reasons for our failures in anything but ourselves. And along with this, already in hindsight, we say that then it was a great success, we were incredibly lucky then, the circumstances were such that everything turned out almost by itself, that was it - our happy white streak in life.

Note that we always say this only in retrospect, when it has already become worse than it was. The expression “now I have a black streak” can be heard much more often than “I am now in a white streak, I am lucky and I am rushing through life.”

Accidents are not accidental, or who is responsible for all this

Yes, if you could just take it and set yourself up for a productive wave, bewitch some kind of amulet, buy a talisman that would protect us and guide us on the right path, we would only have to live and rejoice. If everything depended on the scheme of our fate written by someone, everything would be much sadder and more hopeless than it really is.

Whatever our life is - lucky or unlucky, positive or negative, difficult or easy - in any case, we create it ourselves. In the same way, the biggest obstacle in our path is again WE.

Every day we realize our innate psychological properties at the level to which they managed to develop in childhood. We always choose the field of activity that best suits our psychological needs. However, we are becoming more complex and the world is becoming more complex - more and more people are born multi-vector, more and more opportunities for implementation are provided by modern society. In such a wealth of choices, we often make mistakes, inspired by the example of fulfilled, successful, happy, but psychologically different people. And again, it seems to us that he is so great because he got into the stream, he was lucky, unlike us.

Today, the greatest success for a modern person is the opportunity to understand oneself. Self-knowledge is on a par with the most necessary knowledge and skills of an adult. Aware means armed.

Understanding gives you the strength to take responsibility for your life on yourself, opens your eyes to your own mistakes and real potential, eliminates fear of the future, brings meaning to every day of your life, to every thought in your head, to every moment when you feel alive. . The students of the training on .

Nothing in our destiny happens by accident. Even the fact that you are reading this article is not an accident. It only means that you need it, you have a need for this information, an internal question has arisen that needs an answer. The realization of free will and freedom of choice is our greatest opportunity in this life, and it is precisely this that is able to give each of us personally the enjoyment of existence, and to society a tangible creative contribution to its development and advancement in the future of all mankind.

You can understand your own psychological nature, desires and needs, opportunities and shortcomings at the next free online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.

And catch your luck by the tail ... consciously and intentionally!

You should start with your thoughts, worldview. After internal changes, external progress is also possible.

Try to think more positively. Many have heard this advice but don't know how to follow it. The fact is that you yourself can control which points should be emphasized. The same information will come from outside, but you will perceive it differently. Then your life will be better.

Focus on the good. Don't forget that thoughts don't just affect how your future turns out - they are a big part of your present. After all, it is thoughts and perceptions that differ happy people from the unfortunate. Filter the information that comes to you from the outside world.

With this attitude, you do not live in rose-colored glasses, you do not create illusions, you simply choose in which world you live. After all, the same reality can be different for different people. Of course, not everything will work out right away. A new way of thinking takes getting used to and training. But regular exercise and self-control will help you bring your consciousness to a new, positive level.

Learn not to get upset over the little things. Some people vent their aggression on every occasion. If you want to improve the quality of your own life, it is important for you to be able to properly prioritize and distinguish the really important things from the trifles. Annoying little things are not even worth your attention, and even more so the nerves. Giving too much importance to them, you risk wasting your internal resources.

Develop your strengths. It happens that a person who sets out to become better begins to eradicate all sorts of shortcomings in himself. But you already know that it's better to focus on the good. Therefore, leave your shortcomings alone for a while and engage in more constructive work on yourself.

Think about what you want from life. Sometimes the cause of failure is laziness, which, in turn, arises from insufficient motivation. In order for all your dreams to have the right to be realized, you need to clearly formulate them. Sometimes this is the most difficult task - to find out what you really need. Indeed, in society there are many false values, some people mistake them for their own.

Imagine yourself in a few years. Think about what you do, what and who surrounds you. Let this perfect picture, thought out to the smallest detail, be your guideline in drawing up a plan for the future. Having clear goals will help you make your life better, fuller, more conscious. And the true desire to achieve a certain success will help to overcome obstacles, overcome laziness and not give up in difficult moments.

Determine what exactly you are most dissatisfied with in life at the moment. If you find it difficult to work on all aspects of life at once, focus first on what is most relevant to you. If you are depressed by the absence of a permanent partner or partner, start improving your personal life. When there is dissatisfaction due to an unsuccessfully chosen job, look for your purpose. The main thing is not to sit idly by.